Gross Candy Party

A few days ago, my sister and I stopped at the store to stock up on some treats before we headed to a showing of Harry Potter. We looked over the bulk candy section and I jokingly asked her if she wanted a pound of burnt peanuts, one of the world's least appetizing candies. After a little chuckle, I started thinking about how it might be fun to host a Gross Candy Party, to give some of the least desirable, often forgotten candy a chance to shine — because who in the world actually buys and eats them? I guess somebody does, because they keep making it. Anyway, want to come to my party?

We started listing off all of the candies that might make the gross cut, and here's the lineup so far.

burnt peanuts

and these

circus peanuts

(What are they even made of? Nothing at all related to peanuts, that's what.)

and chiclets

a.k.a. candy-coated gum that that rivals the taste and chewiness of a scrap of paper

And these.

I saw this picture in my search for something else and couldn't resist putting these on the list too. These ones are called "Sundae Neapolitan Coconut." What? That's like 8 flavors too many all in one little candy. Sick.(Quite honestly, Brach's may have to host the party. I could almost put their whole line up here.)

I think a lot of people might disagree with me, but I never saw the draw to candy corn.

Boston Baked Beans(To be honest, I may not have ever actually tried these. But the name sounds sick. Candy makers, it's a good idea to avoid naming candy after dinner food.)

Instead of "The original candy wafer," I think the slogan should read, "The first candy ever made" or "Tastes like chalk!"

Any others you'd like to add?

Happy Birthday to Steph!

Me and Steph. This picture was taken ages ago, but it's still cute, especially in a neither-of-us-look-like-that-anymore way.

Stephanie is my sister and today is her birthday. In her honor, here is a list of things I love about her. I could have gone on and on, but I had to limit myself.

10 Things I Love About Steph
1. Her passion. She feels strongly about most everything, and it's usually (he he) about all the right things. She has much devotion and integrity, this one, and I have always admired that about her.
2. Her love of all things France. She has been to France, like, a hundred times and usually comes back with a fun shirt or three for me and is always willing to share her chocolate or day-old pan au chocolat. I also love that she totally opens up her predominantly French wardrobe to me any time there's a need. Her enthusiasm for France is definitely catching.
3. That we started a Christmas Cookies and Candies baking day tradition a few years ago. I love that day.

My other sister Jen and Steph, showing the results of their baking day the Christmas I was away in Poland.

4. That we also made it a tradition a long time ago to do mildly rebellious things whenever our parents went out of town, like dye Jen's hair or buy lots of chips, gummies, and donuts at the store and watch a movie. (Hellions, I know.)
5. That she has a secret crush on Steve Perry's voice.
6. That we can always share a love of Willy Wonka, Pretty in Pink (a.k.a. Pudding and What?) North (12th? West? Remember when we couldn't remember the name?) Avenue Irregulars, P & P, Gilmore Girls, Friends, Charmed, and many other classic shows. I also love that when Jen and I were at BYU and Steph lived in Provo, she would totally make us dinner once a week on Thursdays and we'd eat, laugh, and watch Friends together. Those nights, when we were away from school and filling our bellies with good food, were absolutely heavenly.
7. I love that we can bond over our naturally curly hair and empathize when the other is caught in the rain and suffers from chia hair.
8. That she has her own brownie recipe totally memorized and that they are some of the world's finest.
9. That she's like the best aunt ever. She LOVES her nieces and nephews and always spends so much quality time with them, reading to them, laughing, and teaching them all sorts of silly yet delightful things. Everyone loves Steph.
10. Umbrellas. (That one's just for you.)

Love you, Steph! Happy Birthday!

Regurgitation

Anna's been sick today. I have cleaned her up after 3 bouts of vomit (with several spews per bout), changed her clothes twice, cleaned floors and furniture each time, and now she's sleeping. Hopefully she will stay that way.

I have washed my hands approximately 50 times, changed MY vomit-covered clothes once, and now I feel like I need to be run through a sanitizer.

But as I was scooping up some vomit off the carpet with a spoon after Bout 2, my mind turned back to the time I threw up on Halloween of 1990. What a memory. I was 8 years old and just putting the finishing touches on my costume before heading out for some trick or treating. I was dressed up as a business man. (We can talk about why that may have been a questionable cross-dressing decision later, but I thought it was ingenious.) I was wearing a suit and tie (I felt like such a rogue), a black hat, and I was carrying a briefcase. So dashing and quite a costume for an 8-year-old girl.

But I needed help with my tie. I had been ignoring rumbles in my stomach all afternoon, but trick or treating was far more important. So this pressing need took me into the kitchen to ask one of my brothers for help tying my tie. Figuring he was the most experienced, I asked my oldest brother for help who was there visiting with his new wife of one month. He started to work on my tie, but then things started to close in on me and I started to get very, very clammy. I woozily moved away from him and said I needed to get out of there.

I threw up three times before I actually made it to the bathroom, with one spew landing on the borrowed black hat I was to wear that night. Rough.

Later, my sister in-law told me that my mom asked her to grab a spoon so she could get in on the clean up, telling her she "better get used to this." And there's no time like the present. My mom is awesome.

I went to bed with a glass of sprite, and my kind older sister went trick or treating for me. Many people thought she was totally full of it and looked skeptically at her extra bag, but I guess she was pretty convincing because I remember getting a LOT of good stuff that year. Though my other sister's black hat has never been the same, I will always remember with fondness that Halloween.

Strawberry sensation

So Anna loves strawberries. Always has. She LOVES to eat them and asks for them at least daily. She requested a strawberry cake for her birthday weeks in advance, without any parental suggestion at all, and it's also her favorite kind of ice cream. It's nearing an obsession.

Here's the pretty cake I made. It was pretty, alright, but I didn't think the taste was fantastic. But Anna didn't mind. (I actually think she only ate her ice cream. Nice.)

My pretty girl with her pretty cake.

For her birthday, my sister Jen sent her a cute old-school strawberry shortcake summer dress (so adorable) and material to make a strawberry pillow, which she purchased off of ebay, I believe. It was such a fun present.

Now, the pillow material was also rather vintage. It was made in 1980, and when I ironed it before I sewed it together, it emitted a smell of pure Old Lady's House. But that only added to the fun.

Making it was really pretty simple. The material came with lines printed on it so you knew where to cut it out.
Anna needed to help.

And then I just sewed around the edges, snipped a few places after I realized it was incredibly misshapen once I turned it inside out, and then we stuffed it and sewed up the bottom. Viola!

Love the tongue.

And trying to eat it. Can't you see the obsession written in her glazed eyes? I told you so.

FINALLY!

I've been waiting for MONTHS to talk about this freely. But now the word is out. Visit my sister's blog to find out what the heck I'm talking about.

Hooray, hooray!

A question of syntax

Would you say muttering is louder than mumbling? Or is it even on the same scale?