An open letter to Keira Knightley

Dear Keira,

I'm writing this letter to tell you I'm sorry. And here's why. When I worked at the Daily Herald a couple years ago, writing for the Life & Style section, I wrote a column once in a while called The Skinny. I rotated with a few other reporters and editors, writing a short blurb about whatever the heck we wanted, really.

One week, I decided to write about a couple movies that had recently been adapted from books, one of them being the latest version of Pride and Prejudice. I wrote some rather disparaging remarks about your acting and a somewhat famous facial quirk. (The line "Keira Knightley — whose idea of good acting is scrunching her top lip and her nose together" may or may not have been printed and sent to the homes of 40,000 people.) Worst of all, I hadn't even seen the movie yet.

But who am I to say such things? You're a person, for heaven's sake, and no one deserves to be mocked in any way, especially in print.

And who am I to judge acting ability? What do I know? Next to nothing! Even though some of your previous performances may have rubbed me the wrong way, this is no justification for writing this — let alone having it printed.

And even though you most likely never caught wind of my extremely lame column and it's literally years later, I still feel incredibly guilty for writing it. A poor attempt at humor turned into the needless mocking of a fellow human being. Despicable. And now every time I indulge in the guilty pleasure that is the aforementioned Pride and Prejudice, I wish I could take it back or at least somehow make amends.

I think this is as close as I'll get.

Seeking forgiveness,

Guilty in Glendale