More Old Lady Names

Remember the Old Lady game? Here's how to play.

1. Pick the name you would choose for yourself out of each group, if pressed, and tell us why.
2. Then share the name you think is the worst of the worst.

Here are some of the latest installments:

GROUP 1
Vertice
Olea
Birdie
Fern
LeJeune


GROUP 2
Ireva Fern
Myrtle
Loa
Nelda
Delora


GROUP 3
Verabel
Veon
Blanche


GROUP 4
Mildred
LaVere
Neva


GROUP 5
LaReal
DeVon (yes, this was a woman)
Ora
Geralee
Nona Bee
Verda
Zeala


Oh, man. I haven't seen some of these for a while (I started collecting them weeks ago), and they are busting me up. LaReal . . .

This week on WRITING WITH ASHLEY

I posted a couple links to fun things happening in the world of words, and I gave a tiny update on how my goals for the month are coming along.

Go. Read. Comment.


Will I reach my goals? Who's to say?

Another episode of "The Girl Behind the Annacdotes"

After the last dose of Annacdotes, I felt once again like it was time to explain a little more about the girl behind them. She does say some pretty amazing things, but her whole self is noteworthy too. Here's what's been on my mind, of late, to round her out a little.

1. She takes a lot of time in the bathroom mostly because she's singing. She sings A LOT. I think she likes to watch herself in the mirror. And it's mostly songs she makes up herself, which is even better, somehow.

2. Just so you don't get the wrong idea and think her a total diva, she LOVES to clean the bathroom with me. Her favorite thing to do is spray the counter tops and scrub them with a sponge.

3. The girly streak in her continues to run deep. If you ever need a compliment on your outfit, Anna is the one to go to. She regularly tells people, and sincerely so, that they look "spectacular" and "amazing." She will also frequently comment on how she likes the "pops of color" in her outfits and others'. She loves to have her nails painted, but she really loves to mix it up, which most often means using as many colors as possible and in a pattern. The pattern is a must, and it sometimes carries over to her toes. Sometimes I'm like, "Must I get out ten different bottles of fingernail polish?" But then I think, "This is what makes her so brilliant."

4. She says often, and very clearly, the word "immediently." I can't help but smile with each use.

5. Whilst shopping at Target the other day, I told her she could pick out one thing to get from the dollar section. After a LOT of deliberation, she decided on a pink lacy sleep mask. What the what?

6. A big water cooler was sitting out in the kitchen the other day, and Anna appropriated it and made it her new toy for a few days. She brought it nearly everywhere she went. Instead of sitting on a chair, she pulled up the big jug and sat on it at the table. Sometimes she would even use a tall kitchen chair as her table. During a game of backgammon, she put the dice in the cooler, rolled them around, and dumped them out instead of using her hands like everyone else.

7. Anna has always been a pretty good reader, but a few months ago, she really took off. She started burning through book after book from the Magic Tree House series and those rainbow fairy books there are a million of, and nearly anything she could get her hands on. After I put her to bed one night, I  heard some rustling around several minutes later and walked in to find her reading under her covers with a flashlight. The next day we talked about when it's okay to read and when she should be sleeping. The next morning after that, Anna sheepishly admitted that she got up the night before and read in the closet so she wouldn't get in trouble. I LOVE to see her curled up with a book and I'm amazed at how she's taken to it.

She also LOVES to read the comics, which reminds me of this picture from 2010:

I think in this photo she was probably just looking at the pictures, mostly, because she had just turned 4, but her obsession with the comics probably started about then. She pants like a happy puppy whenever she sees the comics—especially the beloved, colorful Sunday comics—and she collects the Sunday ones and keeps them in a little cubby she has made for herself behind the couch. Garfield is a particular favorite.

8. Anna is very dramatic. When she's happy, she'll dance and cheer and violently hug me or whoever's nearby and say she's the happiest girl there ever was and that I'm the best mom in the world. But when she's sad, she's in the pit of despair and she takes things VERY personally. She'll say she's the worst person in the world and she'd rather die than live with what she's done (which is usually something small like not hang up her coat).

And sometimes, I feel like she's going through emotional episodes way ahead of her time. Like a teenager. And it's weird. One time she was upset and ran into the bathroom (the room closest to where she was), whipped around, and yelled, "My life is RUINED and it's all because of YOU!" and then slammed the door. Truthfully, I'm glad she closed the door so that she didn't see my smile. When did we step into an episode of Full House?

Speaking of stereotypical, sometimes I play my part too. I was fixing her hair one morning before school and Anna got upset about something. Can't remember what. She started to cry and said she was hurt and it was all thanks to me.

Unamused at this point, I said, "Yes, you have many things, thanks to me. You're alive, thanks to me. You got fed this morning, thanks to me. You learned to read, thanks to me."

Then she cried out, "I don't even care! I wish I didn't even have parents! I wish I was an orphan!" How old is she, again?

And then, as though reading from a script, I said, "We can probably arrange that." I felt a little ridiculous saying it, but it seemed to be the thing to say.

9. I don't want to end on that note because Anna truly is 95% of the time happy and cheerful and a total delight to everyone around her. She's sentimental (we're going to bury her mermaid bath toy that has passed on), she's a little bit of a pack rat (which is probably related to her being sentimental), she loves to play games and will find awards for everyone at the end of the game, she has a very spiritual soul (is that redundant?), she loves all colors and often chooses her outfits based on how many colors she can combine, she loves plays and concerts and the ballet and will cry and clap enthusiastically when it's called for, totally enthralled . . . and that's all I can think of. For now.

Pudding and British Period Pieces

Once upon a time, back in the days when we actually rented movies, I was at Blockbuster with my sisters looking for a movie for our Girls' Night In. I couldn't find the one we were after (Pretty in Pink), so I asked the guy at the counter for help. Little did I know that I apparently had a mouthful of marbles at the time. Or the marbles were in his ears. Here's how our conversation went:

Me: Could you tell me where I can find Pretty in Pink?
Guy: Pride and Prejudice?
Me: No . . . Pretty in Pink.
Guy: 'Pudding' and what?

He finally got it, but the "Pudding" bit just about did me in. What kind of movie title would start with "Pudding"? A lame one, that's what. I believe, in the several retellings of this incident since, my last words to the Blockbuster guy were "'Pudding' and you suck!" That's what Mean Ash would have yelled, anyway. Real Ash probably only said it in her head.

Anyhow, this is all a slightly indirect way to introduce the topic for today:

The Allure of British Period Pieces

What is it about Downton Abbey and Jane Austen movies and the recent deluge of BBC period pieces and fantastic Masterpiece releases that we love SO much? I've kind of been hooked lately, and it's got me wondering why. Why can I not get enough?

In fact, while my sister was in town for two weeks last year, we watched three favorites:

• Charles Dickens' Little Dorrit
• Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South
• and Lost in Austen (see this post on the writing blog)

And, in case you were wondering, that's 452, 233, and 177 minutes, respectively. That's 862 minutes of pure British goodness—14 1/2 hours, for heaven's sake! And we loved every minute.

But the more we watched, the more we analyzed why we love them. Is it as simple as getting caught up in a love story? I don't think so. Though that's a common enough element in many British costume dramas, I don't think it's just that.

Little Dorrit is classic Dickens, in that the story is complex and very rags-to-riches-to-rags, with extreme, melodramatic characters and only a little love story on the side.

And heaven knows there's more going on in Downton Abbey than just a love story. Births and deaths and weddings and electricity and murder and scene-stealing Maggie Smith, just to name a few. (As a sidenote: A long time ago, in Downton seasons, I saw this article on The Onion and loved it.)

Lark Rise to Candleford is another fun one, a four-season series set at the end of the 1800s about a young village girl who moves to a nearby town to become an apprentice to the postmistress. It stars Bates before he was Bates and Lydia Bennet, from the Colin Firth Pride and Prejudice, after she was Lydia Bennet. It's fun and endearing and lighthearted, but someone rightfully described it as an upper-class soap opera. It's just as compelling.

Another great one with Lydia (I suppose she has a real name, I'm just too lazy to look it up) is Cranford. It also stars Judi Dench, who I have never disliked in anything I've ever seen her in. If I met her in real life, I think we could be friends.

And Netflix isn't much help either, making so many shows readily available for when I'm running on the treadmill or just sitting around in my fatsacks. The Forsyte Saga—seen it. Bramwell—seen several episodes. The Buccaneers—in the middle of it.

It's true, some are not as good as others, but it's still safe to say I've seen A LOT over the years. And so have the rest of you, I know it. So why do we like them so much? One theory I sometimes entertain is that many of us have British ancestry and it's like being called home.

But truthfully, I'm still left wondering. What is it about British period pieces?

Also, I didn't list all the good ones here, but are there any others you'd recommend? I certainly don't want to miss any. ;)

Two special Valentine thoughts

Two things to help you enjoy the day.

1. My dad showed me a catalog the other day where you could purchase a plaque with this sentimental message:

Aww . . . Thanks, Dad. It really did make me laugh, and the horrendous punctuation didn't even bother me (the first time). So put that on some valentines, if you foolishly haven't already made some, and it's guaranteed to make everyone's day.

2. Behold. Anna's valentine receptacle: The Love Monster.

Annacdotes 26

1. One day in the summer, I could not keep Anna away from playing in the water. She had a couple friends over, and they all ended up in sopping-wet clothes from playing in the sprinkler they rigged up themselves. I was gone that evening and when I talked to her in the morning, Anna said that she got wet in the sprinklers again in her pajamas and had to put them in the dryer before she went to bed. I said, "What is it with you and getting wet in your clothes?" She said, "I know! I'm just in love with it!"

2. This last summer, my dad said he would pay Anna 25 cents a bucket to gather rocks out of his garden. She did three buckets one day and wasn't super excited to do more the next day. Trying to entice her to keep working, I talked to her about how she could earn some good money doing this. She surprised me by saying, "I think I'd just rather help my family." I told her that doing this would be helping her grandpa AND we could go to the store in a few days to buy a toy or something. She said, "I don't know if I want to spend my money on a toy. I think I might just want to buy something we need." What the what? After that, when I saw that she was naturally much more altruistic than I thought possible, I realized I was obviously going about this the wrong way.

3. Anna came in from outside and asked me to smell her hands. A bit wary, I smelled them and inhaled something rank. With a twinkle in her eye, she said, "Does it smell like saliva?" I grimaced and said, "Yeah, or something else gross." A bit proud of herself, she said, "Well, it's saliva mixed with cat hair." I wanted to vomit. That was not a fun game.

4. In the car one afternoon, Anna said, "What if our car could go 10,000 miles per hour?" I said that would definitely be super fast, even faster than an airplane and probably as fast as a rocket. Anna was quiet for a moment while she reflected on this, and then she said, "But we're glad we have speed limits so we're able to see the beautiful view, huh?"

5. Anna and I were lying on my bed having a chat when there was a pause in the conversation. So I steamrolled over, sort of at an angle, and said, "Look out! Here comes the Mom-inator!" in an evil-villain voice. My back was to her when I finally got there, so I had to reach my arms around behind me, somewhat clumsily, and try to get her that way so I didn't totally smother her. After my attempt, Anna said, "More like the awkward-inator." Man. Bested by my 6 year old.

When I pulled out the Christmas decorations,
Anna had to instantly put on the stockings.

6. In the middle of a conversation about something totally different: "Aren't you glad we have gravity?"

7. Anna has been into this series of books about all different kinds of fairies: jewel fairies, color fairies, flower fairies, etc. After she had read several of them, I asked her what kind of fairy she would be. She thought for a minute and then said excitedly, "The ancient fairy! And when I'd dab my wand, ancient scrolls would come out!"

8. One morning, Anna kept saying versions of "dagnabbit," trying to get it right. Mostly, it came out "dab-nabbit." She used it several times as she was writing a note, with each little mistake she made. On our way to the car, she stopped to look at a leaf on the ground that was covered in ice crystals. "Dab-nabbit!"she said loudly. "I mean, dab-amazing! Look at this gorgeous thing!"

9. I got a package one day that included a giant sheet of very stiff and very durable bubble wrap. Anna appropriated it the minute she saw it, and it kept her busy for most of the evening. She wore it as a cape, she danced on it, she ran and jumped on it from a distance. On her way to watch a little Netflix, she laid down the sheet of bubble wrap and started to get on it. Surprised, I asked, "Are you going to lie on it?" Like I said, it was very stiff and pretty loud. "Yeah," she said and laughed patronizingly. "Why wouldn't I?"

10. "All you need is a suit covered in money and some scissors in order to go to the store."

hugging the candy tree at a toy store—she was
drawn to it like a moth to a flame

S.O.S

So, I need your help. I rewrote the prologue to my novel, after a suggestion from one of the agents I queried, and I still don't know which version I prefer. Read about my predicament here on the writing blog, and get excited for a little sneak peak of the prologue and chapter 1. If you'd be so kind, read both versions and tell me what you think. I really need some feedback!