I popped in some old Christmas music while I was driving the other day and, after I sang along with the HIGHEST version of Silent Night known to man, on came The 12 Days of Christmas. {Gag.}
It is a truth universally acknowledged that this is the worst Christmas song ever.* (Okay, so it might be tied with "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer." But where the latter wins for tackiness, the former wins for monotonous repetition, in addition to being totally archaic.) So I knew it was going to be bad, but then I realized it was an instrumental version. Uh, come again? The changing words are the ONLY thing the world's longest and most repetitive Christmas song has going for it. I didn't think it could get any worse.
But then—but then!—I realized that it was an instrumental version by a BRASS ENSEMBLE. Only brass! I almost couldn't believe it. Different-sounding instruments are pretty much the ONLY thing instrumental versions of this blasted song have going for them, and, as I just said, that's not much. This song had little to offer in the first place, so with all that stripped away, the brass version made me want to hurl. I realized I was listening to 12 verses of pain and I couldn't stand it any longer, so I skipped to the next song. But not before I said out loud to myself, "Really? A brass version? Not the best idea, folks."
*There is one version that I can stand and maybe even like. The MoTab did an arrangement on the album "This is Christmas," where each day of Christmas is in a style from a different musical period, from Gregorian chant to John Philip Sousa. So it's kind of clever and varied enough to not make you want to poke yourself in the eye AND it's educational. Just like my Jane Austen reference up there.
And, okay. Make that two versions I can stand. Anna learned The 12 Days of Halloween in her preschool class in October, and that was just plain adorable. I can still hear her now: "And a vulture in a dead tree...yuck!" I'd even listen to this version in December.
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