Annacdotes 25

Since it's the twenty-fifth postiversary of Annacdotes (or we could call this an "Annaversary"—her name works with everything!), I thought I would celebrate by sharing twenty five stories. So either I'm obsessed with her, or she's delightfully brilliant. Either way, it was not that hard to come up with twenty five. She gives me a lot of material.

1. We were telling knock-knock jokes the other day, and here was Anna's:

Anna: Knock knock.
me: Who's there?
Anna: Grass.
me: Grass who?
Anna: Grass Grass.

After a courtesy laugh by me and a contemplative pause by Anna, she finally said, "Wait. Are knock knock jokes supposed to make sense?"

2. "I'm not very happy with Satan." I, of course, asked her why. Her reply: "He doesn't make very good choices."

3. Anna keeps trying to paint my nails with white out.

4. Eating lunch one day (just so you know how out of the blue this was), Anna said, "Mom, what if 'temple' in German meant 'break dancing class'?"

What if, Anna? What if?

5. Anna was calling for me to come outside, but I could tell she didn't really need anything. After several failed attempts, I heard her yell, "Ow!" Again, I knew it wasn't serious so I didn't do anything. She was just after some attention. She yelled again for me to come out, and I told her to come in if she needed something. She started to insist that I come outside because she was injured. I asked her what happened, and she said she scraped her toe. I asked her what it was that I could do to help her out there. She spluttered desperately, "Just . . . come out here and . . . and give me a hug!"

6. I was headed out one evening to watch a movie at a friend's house and therefore wearing comfy clothes and flip flops. Anna looked me over and then pleaded with me to wear some earrings or at least a bracelet because I looked "too dull." Isn't she precious?

7. We were talking about haircuts one day, and Anna said she wished a long-haired friend of hers would cut her hair up to her shoulders so that she (Anna) would be the queen of the long-hair world. I didn't know she was so cutthroat.

8. Before Anna had to do something she really didn't want to do, she tried to ask me a bunch of questions in an attempt to delay the inevitable. One question was, "Mom, when you had me, was I nine months late or nine months early?" I was sad I had to tell her it was only nine days late. It makes the story way less cool.

9. Anna checked the time on a digital clock and said, extremely excitedly, "It's 8:59!" She kept staring at it and then said in a lower, more dramatic voice, "I've got to see the magic happen."

10. In a prayer: "I hope tomorrow can be swell, swell, swell indeed, even spectacular, and the best day in the whole world."

11. Anna and a couple of cousins were busy playing in her room. When I went in, I saw that they were pretending to have laptops (using picture books opened up and turned sideways on their laps), and they were "texting" each other, they told me. Precious.


12. Around the time of the recent BYU/Utah football game, Anna came home from school horrified and said that a boy in her class is actually a Utes fan. She said, "Mom, he said, 'Utes rock!' I'm going to have to cut him out." (This included making an X and a slicing motion with her arms.) I laughed because I didn't know she felt so strongly. Sure, we root for BYU in our house, but we're not die-hard, violent fans. Then a few days later, she related how this same boy made up a rhyme: "BYU stinks like poo." So she said one back: "The Utes stink like roots."

13. One night, I asked Anna which of her two music boxes she wanted me to wind up and play as she's going to sleep. She laughed and said, "Both of them." When they were both playing ("You Are My Sunshine" and "Music Box Dancer," to be specific), she said with glee over the ruckus, "It sounds like a horrible masterpiece!"

doing "mermaid hair "in the bath

14. One morning, I sat a plate of scrambled eggs in front of Anna, and she said, "How about some ham and cheese too?" (This is her favorite way to eat scrambled eggs, but it wasn't happening that particular morning.)

I said, "How about 'Thanks, Mom, for the delicious breakfast'?"

She said, "I already said thank you."

"When?"

"Last year."

15. One afternoon, I asked Anna how her day was at school, and she passionately told me about how they had to do the run walk in P.E. She said, "It was the WORST thing EVER! Well, except for avocado and asparagus [her two least favorite foods] . . . and Satan."

(Interestingly, I could probably do a whole post of Annacdotes strictly about Satan. She's got a lot to say about him.)

16. My sister makes this caramel treat out of corn puffs that is highly addictive. She has named it Caramel Evil. In the same vein, Anna laughs wickedly whenever she gets some and calls it "nasty goodness."

17. In a prayer: "I'm thankful for everything in the universe." That was awesome on its own, but then there was this part: "I hope things go well tomorrow and the next day . . . and the next, until the death of . . . the death of . . . well, never mind."

18. Anna: Mom, do you think Adam and Eve came up with the?

Me: 'The'? 'The' what?
Anna: No, the word 'the.' Because it's so common.

19. We were relishing some warm peach cobbler I had just made. After a delicious bite, I said, "Nothing beats a warm dessert with vanilla ice cream." Anna said, "Except maybe love."

20. When discussing dreams one day, I told Anna that they say that even though dreams seem long, they really only last for a short time, maybe thirty seconds, or something. Skeptical, she replied, "Hmmm. Maybe that's fake science."

21. I found Anna playing in her room one morning, and I asked her if she was ready for breakfast. With a slightly annoyed voice, she said, "Can't you see I'm sorting?"

22. "Would you rather have the last name 'Liar' or 'Pants on Fire'?"

When Anna had strep on Halloween, she wore this mask around for part of the day in the hopes that she could still dress up in the evening. But she didn't say much, since it hurt her throat to talk, so she just lazed about silently and regally, which made for an adorable picture.

23. When I told Anna she couldn't watch a movie, she turned and whispered to herself, "Ah, defeated."

24. At the park one day, Anna started chatting with a little boy, the only other kid there. I heard him tell her what his name was and that his dad's name was Chris. Anna excitedly told him that she had an aunt named Chris, and I heard her repeat this a couple times. Finally, the boy went down the slide, and I heard Anna call after him, with feeling, "Do you even know what a connection is?"

25. Another mind-bending What If.
Anna: "What if my last name was 'From New Jersey'?"
Me (after a pause to process this): As in, Anna From New Jersey?
Anna: Yeah, and then what if you really named me Oklahoma Girl?
Me (laughing): So your name would be Oklahoma Girl From New Jersey?

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Whew. Twenty five, done. Did we overdose? Maybe, maybe not.