Tuesday, March 18, 2014

More Old Lady Names

Like I said, I've been away from the blog for a while, but that only means that my collection of old lady names has multiplied exponentially while I was on sabbatical. Seriously. I did the math. (No I didn't.) But I do have a bajillion. I wasn't sure how to choose what to share first, but I started noticing some patterns that I think are interesting. I'll start with two today.

First off, we have what I will call the ENDING IN "A" category. I feel like people back then could choose any number of letters—sometimes at random—and, as long as the combination ended in "a," it was deemed a worthy name for their daughter. (Similar to the "lee" suffix of our time, and the many "Braylee," "Brinley," "McKaylee" creations, perhaps?)


ENDING IN "A"
Elda (I've seen several of these, so this name was not uncommon. But it makes me wonder why "Eld" was something you'd want to feminize with an "a.")
Aina
Verna
Idona (I feel like this one is begging Bart Simpson to use it for a fake name when he calls Moe's Tavern. What would a good last name be?)
Cerelda
Wilda (One word: Wildebeest.)
Coda
Venda
Arcola (Maybe not the best idea to put a popular soft drink in your child's name?)
Erna
Cloma (This is heading dangerously into "sounds like a body part or a disease" territory.)
Varda (I tried to see this one from all sides, but I still say don't name your child anything that rhymes with "lard.")
Ora, Arva, Wilma, Ola, Eda (All of these beauties appeared the same day in the obits. It was a goooooooood day.)


Another collection of names falls into the VISIBLE ROOTS category. These are names that are indeed odd, but I feel like I can see how people possibly arrived at them. Possibly maybe.

VISIBLE ROOTS
Ronella (Maybe it's one of those Dad's name + Mom's name situations? Ron + Ella? Or maybe it's just a feminized version of Ron, which is a terrible idea.)
Royalene (Could be Ronella's cousin, the child of Roy and Alene, or the feminized version of Royal, which, again, didn't turn out very well)
Rinda (A horrible variation of Linda?)
Arvilla (Another feminized version? Of Arville? Why?)


So let's hear it. Which name offends your senses the least, and which makes you recoil and feel like you came down with a terrible case of cloma?

8 comments:

  1. I'm having a hard time picking the worst. I'm torn between Varda and Arvilla, I think. Venda's up there, but it's more weird than awful. Okay, okay, let's go with Arvilla. I see no good reason for that to exist.

    And if I had to pick one to be my name, I might say ... oh, it's so hard ... Ora. It's got a kind of bohemian feel and still maintains a soft, feminine sound, which I like more than hard D's and V's, usually (as in Arva, Varda, etc.).

    ReplyDelete
  2. I genuinely genuinely love Arvilla. Not in the way that I would like to have it or that I would inflict it on my offspring, I just really like the sounds of it. When I was little (17 years old) I bought a dollar store princess coloring book and would color it in my downtime (why don't I have friends?) But the BEST part was making up names to go with them. I would pick some sort of obvious trait from the horrible 80's pictures and work that into a name somehow. "Volumina" and "Aqua-netta" both had really great hair, as you can imagine.

    I'm just trying to figure out what kind of traits Arvilla would have had. I'm going the portmanteau route as well trying to see if perhaps she was a villainous aardvark? Who knows.

    P.S. I would pick the name Wilda for myself JUST to be able to have a wicked cool nickname like "the beeeeeeest"

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aqua-netta... SO great, Melissa. I'm so glad you shared this . . . and went against everything I just wrote. Truly.

    But you bring up a good question for the whole group. If you could only choose from this list, which name would you choose for your own child?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Arvilla sure is a winner. How is Eda pronounced, i wonder? Is it like Etta? Because that's lovely. Or is it pronounced Eeda? Like Edith, but you just got lazy. Also, if it is like Etta, then just spell it Etta, because that makes it so much better. Eda with the root "Ed" is terrible for a girl. It's like how Dawn is such a better name than Don. Spelling matters.. for some reason...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Excellent point, Jen. Spelling does matter. I'm thinking it's probably pronounced "Eeda," so there goes the lovely "Etta," but some of these names I have don't have obvious pronunciations. I just saw one today like this: "Vilo." V-eye-lo, as in Milo? Veelo, as in . . . nothing? Who's to say???

    ReplyDelete
  6. I know someone named Vilo!!! It's real!! I'm pretty sure it's pronounced V-eye-lo but i'm not sure because she goes by her middle name, Elizabeth.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Cerelda? This sounds like a part of the brain - perhaps the part that her parents were obviously missing. And when I picture Venda, she has letters and numbers on her that you push so that she can dispense a can of soda or a candy bar or something.

    If I had to choose one for my own name, I would have to go with Wilma, since at least people would know how to pronounce it, and I do truly love (okay, at least like) the Flintstones.

    If forced to choose one for my child, I would have to choose none and forever after refer to her simply as "hey you" or "daughter #2" etc. That would be the kind thing to do.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ha ha, Sandra. This made me laugh. Poor, poor Venda. Maybe she was, in fact, the inspiration behind the vending machine. Maybe she was super generous or always carried snacks with her to share.

    ReplyDelete