Messages that weren't meant for me

Most of the time, spam is spam—despicable and worthless. But sometimes, inadvertent emails and texts amuse me. Especially when you can tell they're real and not sent by a robot. Here are a few I have received, of late:

BY EMAIL
From a highly suspicious-sounding "Mr. Spickle":

Hey. It's J—— from the club. I said I would email you and here it is. Ta da!

I could tell by the recipient list that this wasn't spam, just an email sent to two hotties from the club, one of whom happened to share my name. I should tell this Mr. Spickle it's on!


Recently, I also started getting several personal emails sent to an old email address of mine. Turns out, a woman with the same name that I used to have got a new email address and used that name but put an S as the middle initial, which apparently half the world does not notice. She has since written me to let me know what happened and to see if I could forward the emails on to her, which I happily do. I am glad to know they have a place to go instead of my trash when people were expecting them to arrive at the right place. This woman and I have sent several emails back and forth, trying to sort out what's hers and what's for another Ashley, and now we're friends because I know so many personal details about her life—like she IS getting married, but not in Vegas (so that email was for another Ashley). I know what activities her kids are involved in, that she went to coffee with a old friend from work and covered the bill. She sounds like a keeper. I would expect nothing less from my namesake.


BY TEXT
From an unknown number:

January 13: "Hey patch"

January 16: "Is the war still on?"

February 6: "Hey patch it's j—— do you remember drawing an animal cell and a plant cell in science? i did it but she says it isn't turned in"

Even though Patch as a new nickname would be awesome (and I would be friends with anyone who sent texts like the one from January 16th), I think the last one finally let me know that this fellow is not in the same grade as I am.