Annacdotes 19

1. I got a new pair of shoes the other day and Anna has been playing with the little plastic stick things that kept the shoes stretched out when they were in the box. (Do you know what I'm talking about? The little hollow L-shaped things?) Anyway, I walked in to the bathroom and Anna was in there playing with one of them in the sink. Here's how the conversation went.

Anna: I just had some disgusting water out of this.
Me: [freaking out inside] Out of that? You used it as a straw?
Anna: Yes, and the water was disgusting.
Me: Yeah, you probably shouldn't do that. It's been inside shoes.
Anna: Yeah. DisGUSTing.

a minute later

Anna: You know what I think the issue was?
Me: What?
Anna: Shoes.
Me. I agree. That's a good rule to follow: Don't put anything in your mouth that has been inside shoes.
Anna: And the other issue? Earwax.
Me: WHAT?
Anna: Yeah, I got a little on the end. DisGUSTing.

(I found out later that she was walking around with both of them sticking out of her ears.)

I realize that this is vile and, yes, disgusting and that I probably come off looking like a neglectful mother, but this conversation was hilarious. The fact that she used the word "issue" so matter-of-factly, and the earwax thing was just icing on the cake.

2. One morning, Anna woke up crying because she had a bad dream. When I went in to check it out, she told me that she was dreaming that someone put her in the freezer. (Totally sad nightmare, by the way.) When she had calmed down, she said, "You want to know something kinda funny? I sometimes see the same police bad guy in my dreams and he's always holding a gun . . . and butter."

3. We had to run a quick errand the other day and Anna insisted on keeping on the plastic poncho she was wearing. (World's best toy, by the way. She loves it and it has somehow kept her entertained for days.) So she wore it on the errand and then when we were getting out of the car, it started to thunder a bit. She said, quite calmly, "Mom, the thunder worries me." When I asked her why, she said, "Because I might get wet!" Oh, the irony.

This was the butterfly we hatched this year. I believe Anna named it Faye.

4. Anna and I shared a room for a few days while guests were in town, and one morning, before I was really coherent, the first thing out of Anna's mouth was, "Mom, do you want me to sniff around like a horse?" When the question finally processed, I said, "Um, not really." She said, "Good . . . because I'm not going to."

5. Anna and I were trying to sing one of the songs Cinderella sings, "A Dream is a Wish," and we could only get so far. After a few fruitless tries, I said, "That's it, I'm going to find the lyrics and then I'll come back and sing the whole thing for you." On my way out of the room, Anna yelled, "Okay, make me proud!"

in front of the St. George temple

6. In a recent prayer, Anna was speaking directly to Heavenly Father. She said, in a very sincere (if a bit melodramatic) voice, "I love you so much. And please, PLEASE, win the war with Satan."

7. "Mom, have you ever pushed on your eyeballs and seen the universe?"

8. "Netflix has changed my life!"

9. Anna was singing to herself the other day and told me that there are two kinds of solos. I asked her what they were, and she said one was the singing kind and the other was like, when you say, "Why so low today?" I'll let you know when her joke book gets published.

This one was taken during Anna's class Halloween party while her teacher was reading the kids a story. Pretty cute.